So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
