I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
