At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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