He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
