That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
