his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
