You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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