Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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