best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
