"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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