??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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