pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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