I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
