we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
