I CAN MOONWALK!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
