ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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