I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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