The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
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