im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
