my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
