Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
