roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
sex in a hospital.. check
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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