I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
