Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Send help, water and tortillas.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize