it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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