How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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