I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
