I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I need a beard to bite.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
