He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
