Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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