no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
