I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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