just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize