Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
