Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
