Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
