Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
