I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
