ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I want to have your abortion
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
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