you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
