if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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