maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
