nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
