Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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