Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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