i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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