Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
