My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
