haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
