the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
