Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize