you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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