We're like a lot better than the average bears
Please, let me fuck your mom
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
