When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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