alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
