Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
