glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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