It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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