theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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